i want it bad.

On the 1st of June I posted how I accomplished lots and lots of things. I wished I could have kept up the accomplishment feelings, but alas, tonight I am not feeling like I made much stride in the distance of summer accomplishment. Probably because for the last two days all I've done is go to work and than come home and crash. And when I say crash I mean lay down wherever I can, without showering the stink of kitchen staff stench from my body, and half sleep half watch television for two hours before prodding myself from my laying position for the sole reason of eating ice cream. Really, I accomplished being a fat ass.But, on June 1st I felt great. And that's because I made this:The local radio station 99.3 KissFM hosted a 'Gaga Look Alike Contest'. And let me tell you, I told myself I was winning that contest!. So, I took the unlimited amount of summer time ahead of me and assembled the creation above. It's based on Gaga's song 'Paper Gangsta' and so, is entirely made of paper torn from old and poorly written just starting off childrens' stories. It includes: 1. Literary Stunner Shades complete with the Gaga Bolt in Gold Glitter, 2. a Neck Collar and two Wrist Cuffs of the layered and shredded variety, 3. a Shrug of a jacket with some Killer Shoulders, 4. Fine Leather Belt Modge-podged with some literature, 5. Knuckle Rings bedazzled with gold glitter with the term 'Paper Gangster', 6. Fake Nails spray painted with gold spray paint, 7. Fish Nets
But, the greatest thing about this outfit was:THE HAIR! Holy moley I think I should go into business. This chick's hair was so intense, and let me tell you how I accomplished this feat of beauty: 1. I vigorously teased her hair out to ridiculous proportions because she has a head of glorious Italian hair, 2. I parted her hair in the middle as if getting ready to have a bird nest in the middle of it, 3. placed a cone shaped piece of styrofoam in the nest of hair, 4. and wrapped the remainder of the hair around the shape while, 5. adding a book that was half supported by the top of her head, half supported by her bangs, and just barely holding on with some pins.Needlesstosay, she got the most professional do of her hair gettin' did life. Oh, and to finish, I added copious amounts of gel and hairspray to her bangs and than poured craft glitter into the sticky mess. Just, you know, tell me if you have an upcoming event and would like your hair all done and stuff. I don't want to brag, but I'm pretty good. Obviously.

The final resulted in a photo shoot of simple proportions:
I think I should invest my time in becoming a stylist. Just sayin'.

But, the greatest thing about this whole ordeal I put Allison through: WE GOT A CALLBACK! On this coming Tuesday I have to put Alli through this ordeal once more to compete against four other little monsters for four tickets and hotel accommodations for a Lady Gaga concert in Atlantic City. And, let me tell you, we are going to win those tickets!
More to this story, though; I submitted as well. We had twenty four minutes to make a costume, put me in it, and photo shoot before the submission deadline was over. We came up with:
THE MONSTER! The costume, or, moreorless, the performance coincides with the song 'Monster', which features the lyrics, "He ate my heart / the boy's a monster". The best part of this shoot: I'm kneeling with a dripping cake in my hands and freshly spray painted feathers on my shoulders and in my hair, gorging on a cake while Allison is figuring out how to work the camera. Between mouthfuls I'm shouting, "Just hold down the button! Hold it down!"

All the while, my dad is holding the dog back, and laughing.